I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
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I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
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Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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