i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he shaved USA in his pubs
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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