Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
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It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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