I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
