$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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