I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
