Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Screwed.edu
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
