Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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