oh god the rape fog is back!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
