Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
