She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize