At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
