If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just puked most of my soul out..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
