is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
