I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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