he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
