I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
