I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
