She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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