Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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