You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
