i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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