this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
