Cold hands, warm shart.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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