I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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