he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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