I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
