i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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