You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
