i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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