i think i have herpe
just one?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
