My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
