So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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