My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You made out with two different species that night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
