I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
