i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize