My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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