Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
