im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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