that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
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I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
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Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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