have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
