Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
