Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
is that a dick in a sweater?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize