You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
