Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
