p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
