The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i think im in europe. pls send help
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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