Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
