He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
