I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
