A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
