frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
