one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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