I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
