Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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