I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just puked most of my soul out..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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