There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Randomize
