Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
