Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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