The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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