i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
