Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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