Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
