franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
