I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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