I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
