My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
