Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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