Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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