Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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