did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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