I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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